Winter Sunset

Loose Bruce

I always knew Bruce was fond of me but I had thought it was more or less a "you let me out in the mornings, you feed me" kind of affection. It appears he has the hots for me! He thinks I am randy gander material. Huh! I have news for him. It is just not on. These photos show him with his Come Hither look and my foot preventing him from taking the big plunge so to speak. He keeps showing me where the water is but I know what happens in the water and baby, he can keep whistling Dixie. He apparently has the hots for the teenagers of the house too so, unless I am misreading goose body language, Bruce is one loose goose. (Yes I know he is a gander but what rhymes with gander anyway?). He is still cute and not a problem so far but Fanny is not quite as fond of him as he is of her. I can see why these randy ganders need a flock of geese instead of just one. He will just have to cope I am afraid.

Splice & Crepsley

These are our new pets, African Lovebirds. They are just beautiful don't you think? I have them in a snake proof, large cage on wheels. So much easier to move them around from sunny spot to shade etc. I bought the Lime Fischer bird and named her Splice after the ice block her colouring reminds me of. The Dynamic Daughter bought the Blue Fischer and named him Crepsley after a character from a series of books she reads and collects by Darren Shan. They are such clowns. I was given a peach faced lovebird for my 21st birthday all those years ago and she was with me for many years. They are a happy, chirpy bird (huh, yet another crappy joke my kids would groan at).

Keep posted, hopefully I will have no disaster befall these two to report.

Panic Stations Everyone!

The Young Negotiator has passed his Driver Knowledge Test and is now a Learner Driver..........yeah I know, scary huh? We had our first session in the front paddock today with lots of stalling of the motor and kangarooing in first gear. The car has quite a deep clutch pedal so it takes a bit of co-ordination, especially when stopping. Deep clutch, shallow brake and we both appreciated the seat belts! Paddock not really set up for a small car so we bounced around somewhat but we had some laughs and he managed to improve a bit. And so it starts, another era in our babies' growing up.

He was actually old enough to learn to drive one year ago, when he turned 16, but he and quite a few of his friends decided they were not ready. Another year of growing up hasn't hurt. There has been a lot of negative media stories regarding the P-plater (provisional driver) and a few fatalities regarding young people in the area. But I have to say I see a lot of older, more experienced drivers make mistakes (including myself) and I have seen many do stupid and dangerous things.

I remember when I had my P Plates it took me half a block to realise that you cannot actually watch the road and read a map at the same time. Duh! And that you shouldn't take your little Datsun 1200 Coupe (baby poop brown) through flood waters. No, really?! And whatever you do keep an eye on the petrol gauge, the fuel is not endless. We are all a bit dumb when we start out.

Wish us luck, this is number one of two teenagers to learn to drive and with 120 hours to fill in in the log book it is going to be a big year (both times).

Our Comfort Zones

Does anyone else find them hard to break out of? I found it hard pre injury but damn terrifying afterwards. I was a typical teenager and young adult and regularly broke from my comfort zone with great gusto but as an older adult (I always feel strange calling myself an adult) it became quite a forced thing. Those comfort zones are so cozy and warm but best of all, predictable. Post injury they were the things anxiety attacks (mild) were made of. My short term memory dysfunction made the retaining of new information very difficult and this in turn would strip me of my confidence which would then send me into a tail-spin of anxiety and indecision. Thankfully these extremes are in the past but I still have a fairly rigid comfort zone.

I admire my friends and acquaintances that have broken out of their personal comfort zones. I have friends who have tackled a new and exciting sport or a late-onset career, study at tertiary level or university and I think to myself that they are so brave. But they are ordinary women and men. We don't have to accept life as it is, we need to be proactive and brave. There is no need to sit there in your cozy comfort zone and complain that your life is boring/unsatisfactory/wrong. Get up off your arse and do something about it. Ditch the comfort zone, one small step at a time or take a giant leap. Sometimes it will have unfortunate outcomes.....like a Piece of Poop horse that throws you head first into the ground. I had never owned a riding horse before and I had a steep learning curve. But even this can be learnt from. My life is so much richer now with the appreciation of my friends and family, of life and a collection of 'head' jokes. I have a lifetime of excuses for forgetting lunch dates/birthdays etc. Sometimes it can be all good........like my tennis lessons. I had to enrol in them twice just to retain the information but met some great people and had so much fun.

I am using the Young Negotiator's laptop again, the one without the DELETE key. Wow I am going all out today.

OK, lecture over. Have a great day!

I'm Cured! (Official White Lie)

An Observation.

My friends and family are used to me announcing "I'm cured!" every now and then. They just role their eyes and agree with me half-heartedly. Sometimes I am travelling so well, I achieve such unprecedented post injury feats that I feel that I am, in fact, cured. A great feeling comes over me of pride and ambition but then, as can be expected, reality hits me and I have to ease back on my plans. It does not make me sad or disappointed but I have enjoyed the high of being 'cured' for a while. Little windows of energy are always welcome because, as you know, I am cured!

My Brain Injury - Happy 5th Anniversary

Wow, FIVE years since I did a head plant into the long grass of the paddock with the assistance of my Piece of Poop. I only realised it half way through the morning and then it made me smile. I told my friends when I realised what day it was and that it had been an exercise in attention seeking and an inexplicable need to have six months off work. They totally agreed.

I remember the first six months after the injury I found each monthly anniversary upsetting. I was not accepting my limitations very well. When I was able to begin work, be it in very small increments, I found my lack of amazing progress upsetting.

My first year anniversary since the accident was a shock. How can this injury still be affecting me? My second anniversary was, for some reason, more upsetting. Perhaps it seemed so much more permanent. I knew it was imminent so I arranged for a big family and friend BBQ and tennis day in the country to coincide with the fateful day. We had the best fun and the most laughs and one of my friends even bought out a 'Brain Cake' with two candles alight. It had lots of apricot halves, cut side down, on top to represent brains. My day passed with lots of happiness instead of tears. From then on it became easier.

There was some things I learnt on that second anniversary.

* Yes I have a mild disability but I am not disabled, I am not dead and I sure as hell will not let the brain injury stop me from living my life.

* Surrounding yourself with people who have a positive impact on your life is a smart move. I am not alone. I have friends and family that are important to me and I to them.

* Self pity is unhelpful, unproductive and a waste of time.

* Look ahead, not behind and if you do look behind learn from it and grow.

* Deep and meaningful lists must come to an end. I am all out!

That day was significant also because it was the first time the Young Negotiator had thrown a teenage hissy-fit. It was mild and short lived but his anger was passionate. His father snapped back at him and it was over. The Young Negotiator did not speak to us for the 15 minutes it took to get to town but by then it was forgotten and everyone happy. I remember I was shocked and then secretly impressed and had a secret smile when I thought about it. He has had a couple of very mild teenage outbursts, at the most three, and they hardly make the Richter scale. I have joked with him about it and he takes it very well. I know, we are lucky.

But I digress. This post is all about me, me, me. I had morning tea with my ex-brain injury counsellor today. It was lovely and my inspiration for this post. We still keep in contact and I always come away from our meetings feeling good about myself. Thank you to all my friends and family who make me feel good. You are a treasure. (Not to be buried, ha ha).