Twisted Sister has been visiting from the Big Smoke and that usually means a laugh fest and as usual it was. Soul Sister and pSychotic Sister were not working on a day we were free and so we all decided to go to a small, local bowling club* (Bowlo as we Australians sometimes call them) for a game of Bingo. Unfortunately pSychotic Sister had to pull out but the three of us plus the Ol' Cheese (my mother) rocked up at this Bowlo for some action packed fun and excitement. I had never been to this particular club before and was surprised at how old and quaint it was. There were about 20 bingo playing grey heads** there, all women and about three male grey heads; one barman and two wall flowers (not sure what their role or reason for being there was).
The 20 pages of bingo sheets cost us a whole $5 plus a further $3 for our fleuro bingo stamp. This was going to be wild, and on very little money too. The caller gave us a special welcome and made it clear they would welcome our return.***
Our little group had played bingo before but not for many years and we knew what a full house was and a line game but they threw in some doozies. "Postage stamp", "Waterfall", "Staircase" etc but they were very patient in explaining the rules.
The Ol' Cheese who wears bilateral hearing aids and is aged struggled with keeping up but enjoyed herself immensely. I on the other hand managed quite nicely to keep up but found the concentration required quite taxing. The variety of games confused me no end. I thought I understood the rules beforehand but during the game it all went out the proverbial window. It was all very quiet and serious and the caller was quite fast, even though she had slowed down for us newbies. We were given plenty of advice and help which was touching and very welcoming.
The Ol' Cheese won four times (including the random draw at the end), Twisted Sister won once and Soul Sister won twice. I won zero times. I lasted the first 10 bingo sheets but by then my mind was becoming mush. It was tea break time and everyone was offered tea from a HUGE old teapot with cups and saucers. So cute.
The prizes were vouchers of a maximum value of $5, if there were multiple winners it could be $3 or $2 vouchers to be used in the bowlo or the local shopping centre.
I could play no more so I went for a small walk outside in the rain and admired their gardens but it was cold and eventually I had to come back inside and sit quietly while the others played the last 10 sheets. Sit quietly? I don't think so.
"Seventy Seven, seven seven" called the grey head. That would be Soul Sister's age comments I very quietly.
"Twenty nine, two nine". That would be my age, again from me. By this stage I am being told to shut up and am being attacked by their stamps.
"Two, two on its own". Soul Sister's mental age.
"Sixty Nine, six nine". Twisted Sister raises her eyebrows and gives a suggestive hmm-mm sound.
We are giggling and attracting attention. I have to say at this stage that the Ol' Cheese is oblivious to this carry on as her hearing aids are not that sensitive and she is concentrating like a woman possessed.
I thought I would wet myself from laughing at one stage when I remembered I had not turned my mobile phone to silent. Twisted Sister was the only one aware I had a new message alert tone: Grumpy Chicken. It starts off with an agitated chicken who gets louder and more hysterically demented. Suits me entirely. But in this silent and serious atmosphere, to get a text message would be a catastrophe. I mentioned this and Twisted Sister and I lost the plot and giggled until we cried, very quietly of course. I did manage to change the setting and avert complete embarrassment.
Afterwards we had lunch at another club (we are such clubbies) and then Twisted Sister and I had to pick up some ingredients for that night's dinner. By the time I got home I was confused and over, over, over-tired. 2.5 hours of sleep later I was up and running (again in the proverbial sense).
The next day I was unable to work, still fatigued to the max but I did have my second SLR course that night. The Lovely Husband and the learner driver Young Negotiator drove me to class and collected me two hours later as I was unable to drive. I loved the class but found it very hard to absorb the information. Luckily they give us very detailed notes.
Today, two days later, I am still very tired. Wow that bingo is not for the faint hearted...or the brain injured. Far too much concentration required and my brain cannot handle it. It wasn't easy to come up with those witty quips on a fatigued brain you know!
* The club is for LAWN bowls, not ten pin or otherwise.
** Let it be known that the Ol' Cheese is a grey head, well technically it's white now and Twisted Sister and myself are apprentice grey heads in dye disguise. I don't think Soul Sister has any but she is blond!
*** That offer was not repeated again after the end of bingo nor was there any eye contact.
1 comment:
I received a message Friday night from the bowlo advising me I had won a meat tray in their meat raffle held that afternoon. I had pre-bought the tickets on the Monday at the bar of the club. Woohoo, a prize to be collected. One goodly sized BBQ coming up! And it took very little concentration!
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