AAAAAHHHHHH Teenagers!

Where do teenagers go when they are "listening" (and I use the term loosely) to us?  The Young Negotiator, 18 years old, nice boy, sweet nature, generous soul but OH MY GOD does he drive me crazy.  I don't know how he has survived school.  I am positive that at school they give the students instructions they need to follow and remember.  I am pretty sure in their casual after school jobs they have protocols and tasks that must be adhered to.  Why does it not work at home?

Lucky young man, he is now in the Big Metropolis about to take part in an international hockey tournament.  His team is made up with players from Australia, Belgium and England.  They are staying at the same accommodation, eating together and playing hockey for five days.  Wonderful.  But he doesn't get there on some cosmic magic ride.  No, it takes organising and planning. None of which he has an aptitude for.  I guess that is normal for teenagers, I accept that.  But when given directions and advice leading up to his departure I may as well be talking to a leaky gumboot.   OH MY GOD he drove me crazy.  Have a said that?  I was recovering from a nasty flu.  I was getting all his washing up to date.  I worked on his travel itinerary. 

On the day of his departure I said to him that I wanted him packed and ready to go before I have my afternoon sleep.  I need to relax and not worry about anything.  I had to drive him to the airport about 40 minutes away and we had limited spare time.  "We are leaving when I get up OK?"  Yep, no worries.

My sleep completed I get up, change, hang out a load of washing and look at the Young Negotiator.  "Where is your list of things you need from the shops?"  Don't need anything. 
"Have you packed a toothbrush and toothpaste?" No.
"Shampoo and conditioner?"  No.  Don't have any.
"You do know that without these items you will be one stinky breathed, slimy haired character shunned by all the cleaner teenagers around you yes?"
"Deodorant?"  Have run out.
"Are you ready to go?"  Oh we're going now?

AAAAAAAHHHHHH!

We get to the airport and I tell the Young Negotiator he has to do all the talking and book himself in.  He will need to do it by himself on the way home so this is his trial run.  The girl behind the counter is learning also but supervised.  I stay out of the whole conversation and don't quite catch the last thing the young woman says to him.   Something something something don't forget.  We walk away and I ask him what she said.  "I don't know." 

"Have you got a hockey ball with you?  Oh no I forgot.

AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!

Mind you, I have to be honest.  I am an organised person, I like lists, I plan ahead.  But I must have organised his flights when I was mid-fever.  I booked his flights one day too late and did not discover this until four days before departure.  So I changed them.  It cost $60 to change and an extra $40 on top because I accidentally booked him another load of luggage taking it to a total of 50kg allowed on both his flights.  I also booked travel insurance accidentally, which in hindsight is probably not a bad thing.  I still had his flights incorrect in that he has a day and a half extra in the Big Metropolis after everyone else has left.  Stupidly I suggested he explore the city on his own, stay an extra night and have fun with it. 

What was I thinking?  The Young Negotiator has to find his way around the city, not get mugged, lose his wallet or his way.  He has to get himself to the airport an hour before his flight on public transport, book himself in, actually listen to the instructions given him by the airport staff and get to the right gate for departure.

AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!

I have told him all this.  I looked him straight in the eye and made him take out his earphones.  I was serious, monotone voice and held his arm for good measure.  I wonder where he was when I was talking to him.  He would have seen my lips move, my earnest eyes staring at him, felt the grip of my under-moisturised hand on his arm but he was probably in that space teenagers go when their parents speak to them.  That magical space that keeps them protected from the practicalities of life.

Oh well, he does have travel insurance.  He can carry 50kg worth of luggage.  I assume he has his mobile phone, it has credit and is fully charged.  If the Young Negotiator can get through this without ending up in Bali or New Zealand I will be very impressed.  I will know he is absorbing information through his skin.  Maybe survival instincts will cut in and he will recall the information given him.

The Young Negotiator may become ...... (drumroll) ..... A MAN!  Because they are so much more organised, they listen, they care about the effort put in on their behalf.   When they get lost or in trouble men ask for help.........

AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!