B & B

One

First B & B that comes to mind is the obvious one, Bed & Breakfast.  The Lovely Husband and I spent our 10 day honeymoon travelling around the isle of Tasmania 24 years ago and spent nearly every night in a lovely B & B.  What good memories.

Two

Bold and the Beautiful.  Vomit!  Who watches that nonsense?  Certainly not moi.  The plots are rehashed every couple of months.  I mean how many times do those stupid women Taylor and Brooke have to marry the man with the impossible name of Ridge?  He has divorced or been widowed by both women many times and still cannot make life decisions at 50 + years in age without his mother's consent. 

But I never watch the show. 

Brooke has married every male in two generations of Forresters and flirted with the third (her stepson), sicko.  She has had sex with both her daughters' boyfriends/husbands and wonders why Stephanie, her sometimes mother-in-law, does not approve. 

Ok, I have seen the odd episode.   And I would never discuss it at work with another BnB tragic.

Three

Bloated and Bleeding.  My least favourite time of the month.  Pregnancy and breastfeeding provided excellent reprieve all those years ago but one cannot be perpetually pregnant and breastfeeding and remain intact mentally and physically.  Nope, just have to wait it out.  It used to be a cause for celebration (I am woman hear me roar), and not pregnant.  I don't need that assurance anymore, not since I had the diamante clips placed over my fallopian tubes to prevent such mishaps, (one red stone, one green and one clear). 

If ever I am in some violent accident and the poor tired rescue worker or surgeon trying to piece my near lifeless body back together gazes upon my diamante fallopian tube clips and wonders, perhaps sighs with the beauty of them, you know, gives them a precious sight in the scene of blood and guts and gravel rash.  They would go home after 18 hours straight, exhausted and depressed and be able to look back at those sexy little fallopian tubes and maybe they will smile.  Cue tear, just a single one. 

HEY, do you think I could write for the Bold and the Beautiful?  Hell yes, I have the talent, I have the imagination and the crap-metre is way, way up here.  The whole diamante fallopian tube clip scenario could be a winner.  Or not.  Whatever, all I know is is that B & B number three is always a pleasure (sarcasm reigns supreme right now).