Oh yes, that word strikes fear into any home owner, especially a home in excess of 100 years of age. We have an infestation of the little buggers in FOUR of our rooms, three bedrooms and one bathroom.
You see it all started when the Young Negotiator left home. He is 20 now and it was time for him to leave the nest (pun intended). He "cleaned" his room and moved out leaving just the bedroom furniture. No 20 year man wants to take his single, childhood bed with him. I entered this den of teenage manhood for the first time in years to de-cobweb the ceiling, no mean feat I can tell you. It was thick with webs in that gloomy room. Yes, gloomy because he had the lowest wattage bulb known to exist I think. Why? Ambiance? Mood lighting? Save the environment? No I think it was the first one he picked up when he needed to replace a blown bulb.
My cobweb broom was filling fast with dusty, sticky but spiderless webs (even the spiders found it too gloomy) when I noticed an anomaly in the corner of the ceiling: dirt build up and puckered lining boards. One step ladder and one egg lifter later I am jabbing at this strange dirt to find it hard and unmoving. So I poked the puckered wood next to it, just once, and oomph, the egg lifter went straight through the wood without resistance causing a hole for the little white ants to fall out of. I said something along the lines of "Oh bother" or some such benign exclamation and started to inspect the rest of the room. Not good. I turned my attention to the rest of the house, "Oh bother" many, many times. Holy white ant damage Batman it was in the walls and ceilings of four of our rooms. This calls for the help of Termite Man!!
Termite Man came and looked and said something like "Oh bother" which did not instil confidence in me. He went up into the roof space and said "I am going to take photos" which made me tremble at the knees. Termite Man was happier when he re-emerged from the roof. The frame of the house is untouched but the little buggers have followed the lining boards along in a straight line and have done a fair bit of damage. It could be worse, the house will not collapse around us leaving us stunned and covered in dust.
Next step: treatment with non-toxic traps under the house. I love the fact they don't use dangerous poisons anymore. Termite Man told me the bait is as toxic as salt, no harm to domestic pets or wildlife. Fantastic.
"Have you seen any snakes around lately? Because if there are any brown snakes (very poisonous) I charge double." said the smiling assassin. No-o-o, not for a long time. Within five minutes I hear this almighty groan from Termite Man. A brown snake has slithered under the house and he has yet to set the traps under there. "Oh bother" we both say.
"Err, can you keep the dogs inside while I go under the house on my hands and knees to set the traps? I was under a house once and their little dog came and licked me in the ear, frightened the bother out of me. I lifted my head in response and crowned myself on the flooring above. I saw stars!". A very reasonable request I thought.
Traps are set. My termites' time on this earth are numbered. Apparently when the termites die and the eaten wood is left to dry out it will crumble to dust. "Oh bother" that will be an expensive event to deal with. That is in the future and will be dealt with then.
Termite Man will be back to check on the traps and possibly top them up and from now on we will have him out for a yearly inspection, something we should have been doing for the last 20 years. Sigh. Hindsight eh? Bothersome little creatures.
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